Left Out of Your Parent’s Estate Plan? Key Considerations

Many individuals today are relying on the expectation of inheriting significant assets as part of the largest intergenerational wealth transfer in U.S. history. However, studies show a growing disparity between what children anticipate receiving and what parents actually plan to leave behind.

Generally, you have no legal right to be included in your parents’ estate plan, nor can you contest their will or trust solely on the grounds of fairness. However, if you suspect that undue influence or manipulation occurred, leading your parent to change their estate plan, it’s important to speak up.

The Great Wealth Transfer and Changing Expectations for Inheritance

Experts predict that tens of trillions of dollars will transfer from older to younger generations over the next two decades, in what is being called “The Great Wealth Transfer.” According to consulting firm Cerulli Associates, approximately $84 trillion in assets will change hands by 2045, with younger generations—Gen X, millennials, and Gen Z—set to inherit about $72 trillion, while the remainder will go to charitable causes.

Other estimates suggest that this transfer could exceed $140 trillion, marking one of the most significant wealth shifts in history, as noted by CFAAC, a philanthropic organization. However, they also warn that adult children might not receive as much as they expect, due to longer life expectancies, increased retirement spending, and rising healthcare costs draining savings.

Over half of millennials expect to inherit $350,000 or more, but many baby boomers intend to leave far less—some even plan to leave nothing at all. One survey found that just 26% of Americans, including 22% of baby boomers, anticipate leaving an inheritance.

A key reason for this disconnect is that parents often don’t discuss their plans, leaving children in the dark about the reality of their inheritance. According to Edward Jones research, more than a third of Americans avoid talking about wealth transfers with family. The Federal Reserve also found that the chances of inheriting anything from anyone is only 7.4%, with the likelihood of inheriting from a parent just 4.6%.

Coping with the Disappointment of Being Left Out

If you find out that you were excluded from your parents' estate plan, what should you do?

Understand Your Legal Rights

In most cases, adult children do not have an automatic right to inherit from their parents, and contesting a will or trust purely because you feel it’s unfair is typically not an option. However, you may be entitled to a copy of the will, if one exists. If a trust is in place, obtaining a copy may be more complicated if you're not a named beneficiary.

  • If the will or trust explicitly states that you’re disinherited, challenging it can be difficult, unless there are additional circumstances.
  • If the will or trust does not mention your disinheritance, the court might assume it was an oversight, allowing you to contest it.

You may have grounds to dispute a will or trust if:

  • You suspect your parent wasn’t of sound mind when making the document.
  • You believe the will or trust was created under duress or undue influence.
  • There was a factual mistake, such as a parent mistakenly believing you had substance abuse issues when you were actually sober.

Ask Questions Before Considering Legal Action

Before embarking on a costly and lengthy legal battle to contest a will or trust, consider the following questions to understand the situation better:

  • Did your parents discuss their estate plan with you?

    • If they promised you an inheritance and didn’t deliver, this could be a red flag.
    • Parents might have given gifts during their lifetime that they considered part of your inheritance (e.g., helping with a home purchase or a vacation).
    • They might have explicitly stated they were disinheriting you, which makes the outcome predictable.
  • Were inheritance matters left unspoken?

    • Many parents avoid discussing estate planning, leaving children uncertain about their expectations.
  • What was their financial and health situation?

    • Longevity and healthcare costs are increasingly impacting inheritance plans. Older individuals may spend down their savings on living expenses and medical costs.
    • If your parents enjoyed an active lifestyle, they might have spent what would have been your inheritance.
    • If they faced significant health challenges, they might have spent their savings on care, leaving nothing behind.
  • Did someone else receive the inheritance?

    • If significant wealth was left to a sibling or someone in greater financial need, this could explain your omission.
    • A charity could also be a beneficiary if it was a cause your parents supported for many years.

Spotting Red Flags

Try to obtain a copy of your parents’ will or trust to see who inherited their estate and if any recent changes were made. Certain signs may indicate that further investigation is necessary, including:

  • A large portion of the estate was left to a charity or organization your parents had only recently become involved with.
  • Substantial assets were left to a caregiver you don’t know well, especially if they were not previously part of the family circle.
  • If a parent was in poor health and could have been manipulated by someone into changing their estate plan.
  • If there was a recent, unexplained change to the estate plan.

If the estate went through probate, the will becomes a public document. You can access these records, which include details about the beneficiaries, the assets, and the executor, to gain further insights.

Consult with an Estate Planning Attorney

It’s not uncommon to be left out of a parent’s estate plan, and it can leave you feeling hurt and confused—particularly if you were never told you would be disinherited. However, unless there was wrongdoing in the creation of the will or trust, you may have to accept the decision, even if it’s difficult to do so.

That being said, it’s still important to ask questions, especially if there are potential red flags. To discuss your legal options, contact an estate planning attorney who can help you understand your rights and next steps.

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